The Faith Beyond Trauma Podcast

Who Shapes Your Identity: Them Or Him

• Pastor Reggie

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We explore how fear-built walls masquerade as wisdom and how faith reworks boundaries so God has full access to our lives. Jacob and Esau frame a path to face old vows, break inner prisons, and replace “them” with Him at the center of identity.

• difference between sight-based and faith-based boundaries
• Jacob and Esau as a model for facing what you fled
• how the inner critic weaponizes unhealed memories
• identity shaped by influences and subtle idolatry
• genogram exercise to map shaping relationships
• repentance as reorientation, not groveling
• whole-life surrender across family, finances, fitness
• daily yes that turns walls into gates

Send prayer requests or questions: RHURNS@faithbeyondrama.com

http://www.faithbeyondtrauma.com

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, this is Pastor Reggie. Thank you so much for joining me as we continue our series on establishing boundaries by faith and not by sight. Let's pray. Father God, we love you. We just thank you, dear God, for this is a day that you have made. We choose to rejoice and be glad in it, Father God. We thank you that we have the invitation. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, Father God. And as we begin to identify more with that, I just pray to God for a greater awareness of your grace, which can be defined as divine enablement. As you enable us, Father God, to see ourselves the way that we see that you see us. I pray to God that we will let go, forgetting those things which are behind, that contradict, dear God, where you're taking us. Where you're attacking us, where you're calling to be every weight and every sin, Father God, that's so easy to beset us from the lifestyle of faith. Do our things through Christ who gives us strength. Not only can we, dear God, but we will, by grace through faith. Just thank you that we live here, living set free, that thou were restressing free. By grace through faith in the Father, each every one of us who manifest your good, pleasing, and perfect will in our spirit, soul, and body. Thank you. Because you are. In Jesus' name. Amen. Thanks so much for joining me as we continue to series boundaries, whether to establish our boundaries by faith or by sight. By sight, once again, if you're new, is based on our physical eyes, physical, what we see, what we experience, and our five senses, or I like to expand what we have experienced. Because sometimes what we have seen keeps us from seeing in the future. They begin to be defense, they are defense mechanisms which honestly become prisons if we're not careful. As opposed to boundaries, they become prisons. They keep us blocked in, they keep certain things at the forefront. And as we grow closer to God, in the last one, we talked about how the things we sometimes worried about the most, fear the most, or anxious about the most, are the things that confronting those lead to our breakthrough. The example was Jacob and Esau. Jacob never wanted to see his brother again. Book of Genesis never wants to see his brother again. He left under duress. He left under threat on his life. So what he did, he ran to his uncle's house. Lit up for 21 years, but God was dealing with his heart. God was dealing with his heart. And so he knew he had to go back. Go back, which means confronting things that he left. Some of us are the same way. I'm sorry, most of us are the same way. There are some things that you made an inner vow you would never want to touch again. I'm not talking about like Jacob, yours may not be a physical threat. Yours may not be people running away from people. You can live other side of the country. Be okay with that. But physically, mentally, emotionally, and honestly, some of us spiritually, that next level, there's a certain level of forgiveness. There's a certain level of it's not solely forgiveness. There's a certain level of freedom that can only come through friend past transgressions and shortcomings. Because we know what the enemy, one of the biggest tricks of the enemy is to inner me. I-n-e-r-m-e. So what he will do, there are certain things that if we're not careful, he will use those things that we have blocked inside. We will never say this, never do this, and that we hide from. And he will use that in the future as you try to move forward to bring guilt and shame. But sometimes it's not even external, it's internal. If we're not truly careful, if we don't get free, if we don't address things, confront certain things, what happens is we will the enemy will use us against us. Thoughts, memories, you fill in the blank. And so you're trying to move forward, trying to move forward, but as you're moving forward, that inner voice, who you think you are? You ain't this, you ain't that, you did this, you did that. But because we haven't allowed God in those, because we don't see our past as washed by the blood. The future, fine, I'm forgiven. The past, Reggie, I did that. I said that. But yet, still, God says you are healed, delivered, and set free from. He says, I'm gonna get in the trenches with you, and I will help you address those present manifestations of those past transgressions. But unfortunately, if we don't allow God in those spaces, and what happens, these spaces become prisons. And these become areas that we will not produce good fruit. Become areas where the enemy can use, like a UB at the end of his yo-yo. You'll get only so far he'll pull you on back, and all he gotta do is allow that thought. And if we're not careful, if we don't learn how to cast down every thought according to Corinthians, 2 Corinthians 5, 3, tell y'all bad verses 1. I'm sorry, 2 Corinthians 10. I'm sorry, wow. One of my notes cleared. Verse 3 through 5. If we don't destroy every prior obstacle, if we don't capture our own rebellious thoughts and teach our own self, our own thoughts to obey Christ, and what happens is the inner you will be your greatest enemy. It's not even the external stuff for some of us. The stuff we're dealing with internally is worse than anything we can see externally. If you knew I tried to keep it based, actually, I do know, which while we're talking about it now. Your boundaries have become prison walls. And if they're not because they're not established by faith, they're established based on, I like to say debt dot word, stress, or fear. And when I say debt, it's financial, we'll talk about that when the time is right. But right now, it's about your identity, how you identify. You identify as not washed by the blood. Your past is not washed by the blood. Your past is not forgiven. Your present and future, you're forgiven. But you have not allowed your past to be forgiven because you know that there are present manifestations of past transgressions. And so, because of that, you own, you won't let God walk with you through the fire. Yay. You won't let God walk with you. Yea, don't walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Yes, I understand there were present consequences we all have to face them in the natural. But too many times we let these present consequences rob us of our eternal focus. Or we don't allow God to meet us in that pit. Some of us it's a physical pit, jail. Others of us, it's a mental emotional pit. The bottom of the depression, where you're laying in the bed, you cannot move. Or you you put on a cute smile, but behind all that makeup, behind the designer clothes, behind the this, the that, if they only knew, God is like, I came to redeem that person. The person that identifies more with anything that's not my son. There's any area of your life where you identify more with them and not his son, or that and not his son, we are living outside of God's best, good, pleasing, perfect will for our lives. God loves you. He died for all of you. So why would you limit, instead of barrier, boundary, God's access to all of you? He gave all of him. There's no part of you that God doesn't want to work to redeem. And God is not afraid of your mess. He's not afraid of your ugliest, of your deepest. He's not afraid of but reaching God can't look at sin. That's why he looks at you by the blood. So God himself is like, hey, why are you keeping a barrier to keep me out of there? And it's an intentional barrier because you have to work twice as hard to keep it up. If you know me, you won't even talk to God about it in the place of prayer. So that guilt, that shame, that regrets has an atmosphere to where it can sow seeds, and those seeds can grow. But what they do, they choke out your faith in that area. And so when God wants you to, your your body to spit, your body to prosper as much as your soul does, He wants you your body to prosper, He wants you to prosper in every area. There's no part of you God does not want you to prosper. The areas where we don't, are you setting up barriers against God in those areas? Have you established a barrier because you identify more with them and not Him? What do you mean? Identity or identification can be defined as a psychological orientation of the self in regards to something with a resulting feeling of a close emotional assertion. Or it could be an unconscious process where individual models, thoughts, feelings, and action after those attributed to an object that has been incorporated as a mental image. Meaning, once you see yourself as a man or a woman, do you identify with the risen Savior and King, or do you identify with you filling a blank? And what's even more interesting about identity, it doesn't have to be real life identity. Some of us identify with movie characters more so than God. And you may not. Some of us identify more with another person. We respect their experience more so than we do with God in certain areas. So as a result, is you are you identifying more with them or with him? Reggie, I don't know how God identifies about these areas. Well, start with the book. If you need to, the gospel according to Google. Start there. Do your research. And then questions, seek out. If you need to ask us, reach out. Rhearns at faithbeyondtrauma.com. Email us, text me about it, let us be a part of your journey. Or a man and woman of God that you know, love, and trust. Let's dig into this thing together. Because if we identify more with them and not him, you've unconsciously or unconsciously at this point set a barrier against him in those areas. What we're saying is that they have the permission to control us, so they have permission to control how we respond, how we think, how we feel in this area more so than God does. That is my friend is an idol. So sometimes we have some situations we actually make idols out of. Why thoughts, feelings, actions are controlled by something that is not God and His words.

SPEAKER_01:

It's idolatry. Okay, Reggie. Um go back a second.

SPEAKER_00:

Once again, think about different areas of your life. Let's talk about relationships. Your definition of masculinity or femininity. Um your definitions of artwork, your definition of leisure, your definitions of you know, the different things that make up life. Are they based on him or what they say? But Reggie, these are my influences. I agree. Don't get me wrong. That's where we start. You come to him as you are, but as you become closer to him, does he get to search all of us and we get to see, okay, this is what God says about this, that, this, that, this, that, this, that, or does God only get a certain point of us, part of us, because we've established boundaries on other parts of it. Because we've seen life go a certain life has taught me X, Y, Z, A, B, C. So as a result, we're limiting the revelation of God, the realm of God in certain areas, because it's more practical that I do this over there.

SPEAKER_01:

For we walk by faith and not by sight. Or we walk by faith and not by sight.

SPEAKER_00:

Or do you walk by sight and hold your faith hostage? So how so what are we asking me to do? I'm asking you to search your heart. I'm asking you to examine yourself. I'm asking you to write sort of kind of like a it was called a genogram. Slap the family tree a little bit deeper. Because it's not only the physical relationships. I want you to talk about yes, the physical relationship, but the mental, emotional relationships that have shaped you. The people that you look toward that have shaped you. Write it down. Look at their successes and their struggles, good, bad, their physical health, their mental health, their emotional health. Look at all that. And how it has influenced you. Because now we have the starting point. Because we need to see behavior is either motivated or manipulated by something. So what you're doing is motivated or manipulated by something, who is manipulated by? Once again, it could be a fictional character.

SPEAKER_01:

Who is that in your life?

SPEAKER_00:

Do you identify? Who you identify with? Because though, and what barriers, how are they teaching you to live your life? What barriers are they causing you to set? Do they, does the barriers you set cultivate more of him in your life? Give him more free reign and expansion because then you can ultimately say, All of me, God loves all of you. Or is it like God, 25% of me loves you? 50% loves you, 75%. You have established a boundary in your life that God cannot penetrate if God doesn't have access to all of you. We're the ones missing out. We're the ones missing out because why have the blessing of God in certain areas only? For instance, in your finances but not in your health. Why have the blessing of God in your workplace but not in your family life? Why limit the move of God, what God can and wants to do through you? Because He wish you are His poema. You are His handiwork on the earth. You, yes, you, you are His handiwork. Your life make God look good or look bad. And may His name be made holy on the earth. May His name, His name is holy. If His name is holy, He needs you to look, make Him look good. He wants to do that. But the question is, are there areas of your life where God doesn't have any access to? Ephesians 2 verse 10. For we are God's masterpiece, Poema. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus. We can do good things He planned for us long ago. God planned good for you. But you would never access the good that God had for you if He doesn't have access to all of you. If you identify in some areas with them over Him, be careful. I invite you. Hey, that's where you are right now, that's fine. That's where you are right now. Fine. We bring it up. Please bring it up. Bring it up. Why? So we can He can heal it. He can address it because God loves you too much to keep you there. God also knows that on the other side of your obedience there are more people who will see him better because of your life. But yes, right now, a consistent yes, right now, every single day. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. I will handle my finances the way that you will handle it. I will handle my family the way that you want me to handle that. I will handle my fitness the way that you want me to handle it, Father God. I will live out my faith the way that you want me to, Father God. Yes, Lord. I will use my lips to God to praise you, Father God, to speak words to God that are divinely inspired by you, especially when I'm feeling opposite, Father God. Yes, Lord. Because there are other people on the opposite of your yes. But there are boundaries. Certain parts of it's like the old adage of the house. There are certain parts of the house you don't want people going into. A lot of us do God the same way. God, you can have this part of me, but you because some of this part over here, we fear them more than him. If we're being completely honest.

SPEAKER_01:

So I actually examine yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Examine yourself. And take some time between now and once we meet again to consider your strongest, most influential relationships. What do they say about how you establish boundaries in your personal life? What do they say about how you establish boundaries in your professional life and your free fun time and your finances? What do they say about how you establish b what do they say? And do they make room or align with what he says? They do not. And you choose their thoughts, their words, their actions over his thoughts, his words, his actions have made a item in that particular area. But Reggie, I I I it's it's I I I agree. It's a it's a tough pill to swallow time. To understand that we identify more so in certain areas of our lives with them and not him. But we want him to bless us and not them. We want his blessing, his approval. But we limit or reject him because of them. The Bible says their applause is all the rewards that you'll get. So this is how serious we say there are certain areas, there are areas in our lives that we need to really check and see. Is this Yahweh?

SPEAKER_01:

Or is it them?

SPEAKER_00:

If it's them, I invite you to give you signal. Just to repent. Repent means to change your mind about to turn around. Alright. God, I've allowed myself to be controlled, my thoughts, words, and actions to be controlled by them in this area. And I've read your word, I understand your word. It's contradicting you. I repent, Father God. Because I want to please you with my thoughts, words, and all I think. So, Father God, we give you nothing but the glory, the honor, and the praise, Father God. We thank you, Father, for inviting us to examine ourselves. There are two types of examinations self-examination, Father God, and your examination. You said, let a man examine himself in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and other times throughout the text. You invite us to examine ourselves, to make sure, honestly, that we're in the faith. It's one of the biggest ones. So, Father God, as we yield to your word, we thank you, Heavenly Father, for challenging us to consider the barriers of our identity. We set our identity based on them, what they say, have said, or you or what you say about us. And we just thank you for the opportunity to walk by faith and not by soul. Lord God, there's more meat on this bone, Father God. I know that God that there's so much more that you want to do. So I take your spirit, I take your eyes to see, dear God, as we establish boundaries of our identity in heaven, Father, based on what you say, not what they say or what they've done. Yes, Father God. Yes, we know your heart broke as well. So I just thank you, dear God, for a greater words, a greater revelation to my brothers and sisters under the sound of my voice, that they will know how much you are, how much your heart broke that that happened. Most importantly, how much you want to avenge. There are a lot of questions, dear God, why this happened, why that happened, Father God. But you know, you thank you, dear God, that as we allow you in this space that you will, you will talk to us, you will speak to us now. We take eyes to ears to hear, Father God. As we establish identity, not based on who the enemy tried to make us, but who you say that we are. This is our prayer. In Jesus' name. Amen. Once again, if you want us, send us a prayer request. If you want us to talk more, you gotta try and request that pop up. R H U R N S at faithbeyondrama.com. I look forward to hearing from you until we meet again.